Heart and Bail Money

When I was in the 5th grade, I was in the Future Educators of America Society. I didn't think about what that meant for me then but I wanted to be a member because I was able to work in the school office and answer the phones. Fast forward 8 years to my freshman year of college where I had declared myself an English Education major. After two years of the program I decided that I didn't like the education component so I stuck with the English part and graduated with a BA in English. Not sure what I would or could do with such a degree, I did what I could for as long as I could to make some money. In the summer following graduation I worked in Washington DC as an intern. About a week before I was due to come home, I got a call from my sister-friend who happened to be the brand new principal at our parish school. She asked me if I wanted to teach. Here's a timeline. August 11, 2006: Come home from DC August 13, 2006: Go to church, talk to my sister-friend who told me t...

In the twist of all twist's, I have writer's block. I'm supposed to be writing something that needs to be submitted in a little less than a month. I've been trying ever so hard to get it at least half done so I can go back and edit and do whatever I need to do with it before submitting it. That has not happened. I've been "working" on it for about two weeks now. In my head, I think I may have written it about three or four times but when it comes times to actually put pen to paper.... NOTHING. It's rather annoying. Over the last week, I've been intentionally reading more about the topic that I'm writing about so see if I can strum up some ideas. I've been scouring the internet looking for something that will inspire me to sit down and be able to take the thoughts out of my head to be able to write them down on paper. I'm even reading children's books to see if they can be a source of inspiration. A little divine inspiration woul...

For a long time, I always seemed to think of the glass as being half empty. I usually thought in worse case scenarios. In my mind, I was setting myself up to not get hurt. I was preparing myself for rejection. I was guarding myself from mean people. I always had a wall up. There were very few people that could penetrate that wall. It was like a fortress. I was not cold hearted or anything like that. I just chose very carefully who I allowed in my space because I almost intrinsically thought that anyone new in my life was going to somehow hurt me or use me. I thought in worse case scenarios. In my head, people would not like me or they would only want to be my friend because I had the answers for the tests. I never fully believed that people WANTED to be in my life. Even now, though I am married with children, and have a close knit group of friends that love me, I still get scared that people are going to hurt me. I'm trying to learn to just be thankful that there is something i...

The fact that I've named this blog what it is named is not indicative of the fact that I will somehow need bail money. It does not mean that I'm living the life of some thug and my mugshot will be splattered all over the news because I've done something that will cause my bond to be so high that the only way it could be paid is with the blood of a lamb on a altar on a high mountain somewhere. I know that I've said this before but the way that some people in authority are abusing their 'power,' I do not think I want to have a run in with them anyway. I know my attitude. I know my mouth. I know that I can be a bit arrogant and I do not want the combination of those things to land me not only in jail but possibly body bruised in the name of justice...but I digress. I was talking with some women from church about a week ago and I was telling them the name of my blog and about some other things that I will be using my writing skills for. When I told them them the...