Frustrated and Free

 The rollercoaster that my emotions have been on over the course of the last couple of weeks has caused me to have a headache. It doesn't help that the weather in Cincinnati changes dramatically from day to day. Sometimes hour by hour. Either way, I have a headache. 

The truth of the matter is, I'm frustrated with the current state of my life. Like I said in This is Real Life Shit, I know that all the shit happening around me is nothing more than a distraction but guess what?!?! I'M DISTRACTED!!!

It seems like since my book came out, it's been one thing after another. To be honest, I'm distracted that I've stepped away from writing this post three times in the course of a half hour (let me stop for honesty here. It's been two days since I started writing this and I'm just now getting back to it). My mind is cloudy right now so I'm struggling with what to say and what not to say. I'm wrestling with trying to stay encouraging to myself and others all while wanting to give you all a laundry list of the madness that's going on in my own head. 

I probably just need to rest in these feelings for a moment so that I can organize what I'm feeling in a way that makes it better for me to tackle them. The problem is, I'm so overwhelmed with every day shit that I feel like I'm going to get STUCK in the feelings instead of sitting in them to PROCESS them so I can move on from them. 

I'm working on being better. I'm working on moving things around in my mental, spiritual, and emotional space, putting them back into their rightful place. This way, I can navigate through my own distractions so that I can properly push forward. 

Yes, I'm going to rest in these feelings for a few, but I've got shit to do so I've got to boss up and move beyond the frustrations. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unfriended

I offended someone this week for being concerned for their well being. Sadly, they did not see it that way. My assumption is that they took it as me being nosey or trying to be all in their business. Whatever the reason they were so offended by it that I got an angry phone call full of loaded words and insults and a subsequent unfriending on Facebook. This story is not uncommom. Often times when we are offended or if someone has made us mad, one of the first things we do is go to our social media avenues and unfriend, unfollow, and block the offending party. WE. ALL. DO. IT. We do not take the time to pick up the phone (other than to go to our social media pages) call the other person and TALK it out. It's unfortunate. Great relationships end and can seemingly never be repaired because of our actions on social media.  While I am not upset or hurt by the actions of the person who called me with colorful words then unfriended me, it made me glad that God won't just push a
Read more

He Sees The Best In Me

I wrote the following a little over 5 years ago and I think it rings true to me now as it did then. It speaks to the knowledge that God DOES see the best in us. God truly knows my heart. He knows your heart. He uses people that don't even know you exist to send His message of love. This time it was through gospel music artist, Marvin Sapp and his song "He Saw the Best in Me" Are there times when you just have a hard time knowing you are truly loved? Well the following shows that this is not a new feeling for me and it is something that five years later, I'm still working on enjoy! (I was pregnant with Myah when I wrote it and an emotional roller coaster) He Saw the Best in me, when everyone else around me could only see the worst in me! I love Marvin Sapp for it seems as though whenever I'm going through it's as if God comes to him and says "Nanci needs to hear these words." I'll be honest, it feels personal. When I started on this journ
Read more

Jobless not Worthless

Sometimes I just want to get a staple gun and about 100 of my resumes and staple them on telephone posts scattered throughout the city hoping that someone somewhere will see it and know how awesome I would be in their company. I have been unemployed for seems like ages but in reality it has only been a little over a year. I left my last job at a Religion Teacher because I felt a tug on my spirit telling me to move on. I followed the tug and I'm patiently waiting for it to land me in the place where I'm supposed to be. It is difficult sometimes not to feel worthless when you are a married mother of two who does not contribute financially to the household. It's easy to feel like you're bringing nothing to the table. I've had about 4 job interviews in the last month or so to no avail. I've got another one today. Sometimes, just sometimes, I find myself wondering "What the hell is wrong with you Nanci?" Then I hear the Holy Spirit tell me, "what I hav
Read more