I'm Still Here

I'm still here. Let me say that again: I... Am... Still...Here. It seems like an eternity since I've decided to do this. Over two years to be exact. In those two years, I've faced some devastating losses, realized just how amazing some of the relationships in my life are, continued this fight with anxiety and depression, but most importantly; I've survived.

One of the reasons that I think I have not shared parts of my life with you all for so long is because I have been frozen in fear. Fear that my sharing my life and the struggles that I have is exposing pieces of myself left me open for rejection, ridicule, and resentment. I was (and still am) scared of being this vulnerable but I've come to the point right now that I know that God has given me these tests so that I can share my testimony. I know it sounds cliche but it's true. I'm not alone in my struggles and I NEED for anyone reading this who may also struggle to know that you are not alone either.

Even as I type this, my thoughts are cluttered. There's so much that I want to share with you. I want to leave my heart in this blog at this very moment. I know that I can't. Not because it would be too much to share but because there's so much going on in my head, that it would become confusing. Not only for you who are reading this, but for me; the person typing this.

It had been a LONG and HARD two years and I am still struggling. Its a daily situation but I wake up every morning, thank God for being my ROCK, put one foot in front of the other and I continue to live. I continue to look at my children and thank God for the miracles He's gifted me. I count my friends as blessings who remind me all the time just how much joy I bring to their lives even when I don't feel it. 

Again, I am still here. I know that while life can be difficult. I know that there will be days where I do not want to get out of bed. There will be days where I want to throw in the towel. While I know all this to be true, I also know that life is for the living and I am doing by best to live my best because what I am learning is people care, that they rock with me, and I bring something special to their life just because I'm Nanci.

I want you to do that same thing. I want you know that someone cares for you. That you are still here. Through your struggles, you're here. In your dark times, know that we care. We are in this together. Know that #irockwithyou and #somebodycares. We are still here!!!

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